The Trolls

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The Trolls

Post by PhantomFang »

First of all, what is a troll?

A troll is a dark and strange creature, cunningly and cowardly hiding behind their PC.

A troll has limited arguments, consisting of a maximum of 3 or 4 arguments that can be reused in various situations. In case they don't have enough brain cells left to respond to people they have successfully annoyed in one of their topics, they abandon the topic, which drowns without remorse in the uninterrupted flow of topics.

But here's where it gets interesting: a troll is stubborn. An hour after their pitiful failure, they will have already recreated a topic with slightly modified arguments so that the deception is not too obvious. And the troll will be taken down in the same way, which will drive them to create a third topic, and so on.

Because a troll is cowardly. While they willingly insult in a forum, they are incapable of doing the same in real life. And, above all, if they were to spout all the nonsense they claim in forums, their already fragile social life would be shattered. That's why a troll is hardly recognizable in everyday life: they could be anyone.

Lastly, for every hour spent playing video games, a troll loses 20 hours making a fool of themselves in pointless and stupid debates.

So, do trolls have supernatural powers?

You could say that. Indeed, trolls don't hesitate to do things that no one would have imagined.

-Trolls manage to form a definitive opinion on a game with just 2 screenshots.
-Trolls judge games without even having played them.
-Trolls feel superior to others and criticize the current popular hits just to stand out and be noticed.
-Trolls are the only forum users who can spend 15 hours a day on the forum without feeling the slightest fatigue.
-Trolls don't need sunlight; the light from their screen is sufficient for them.
-Trolls can see into the future.
-Trolls are the only ones who don't consider themselves trolls.
-Trolls can call other people trolls.

Argh! If I understood correctly, a troll is a truly dangerous and disreputable being! What safety measures exist?

They are quite simple!

First of all, don't engage with the troll. If they insult you, ignore them. Since their only reason for existence seems to be to annoy people from a distance, your calm and serene demeanor could be enough to infuriate them and push them into a nervous breakdown, thereby permanently stopping their useless posts.

Secondly, be careful not to become a troll yourself. You could easily succumb to this aberration of nature.

Thirdly, don't try to have a serious discussion with a troll; you'll waste more time than anything else.

Are there variations of trolls?

There are a few:

-The fake: This troll thinks the opposite of what they say and can be even more infuriating than a genuine troll.
-The flooder: This troll, lacking arguments or never having had any, expresses their deepest hatred by posting meaningless messages to overload the forum.
-The bourgeois troll: This troll has an annoying tendency to speak with a highly sophisticated and refined language (a very, very rare species!).
-The SMS troll: This troll only communicates in SMS language, and most of the time, it's impossible to understand what they're saying (be careful: they -reproduce like rabbits!).
-The semi-troll: This forum user, while not being a full-fledged troll, meets some troll criteria.
-The maxi-troll: This extremist, brutish, and violent troll is disliked by everyone, including themselves, and posts at a rate of 5 messages per minute.

You now know (almost) everything about trolls.

If you have read this and realize that you, too, are a troll, there is a way to do something about it. Close the window. Take a deep breath and calmly sit for 10 minutes without doing anything. Come back: you have now gained enough perspective to realize how being a troll serves no purpose and wastes your time.

Happily, you will step out of your house, feeling like a new person.

In case that doesn't work, it means you're truly beyond help. The remaining solution is to continue mindlessly trolling until the end of your days, alone and despised.

It's a funny text, but it has its share of truth.

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